


Gentleness

by NanakiBH



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Feelings Realization, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, Spoilers, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-13 03:08:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14740901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanakiBH/pseuds/NanakiBH
Summary: The world isn't as cold as it seems. Its warmth just goes unnoticed.





	Gentleness

**Author's Note:**

> (spoilers)
> 
> I saw [this prompt](https://personakinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/993.html?thread=1011937#cmt1011937) at the Persona kink meme and felt inspired. They wanted Yusuke to realize that his outings with Akira were actually a series of dates, and they wanted it to occur when Akira comes to rescue Yusuke in the Velvet Room near the end of the game.
> 
> This might not necessarily be what the OP had in mind, though... The idea that popped into my head was just so clear, though, I couldn't _not_ write it. Pls accept my humble offering. (And I hope someone else will also try their hand at that prompt! Go write another!)

Yusuke curled his bare hands around the steel bars, but he lacked the strength to test them.

The vague feeling that something was amiss was not enough to surmount the sense that he belonged there. They'd tried. That was their best, probably. What prevented them from advancing was something that no person could single-handedly surpass. Their skill... Their determination... It was insufficient against the will of the people.

It was a thing he wanted to avert his eyes from.

As an artist before all else, he didn't want to acknowledge the ugly feelings seen there within Mementos' depths. He'd struggled to obtain his own freedom, but they were willing to let theirs go. Aimless, lacking personal resolve, they were content following the orders of whoever had the loudest voice. It didn't have to be Shido. It could have been anyone. If their voices added up and became loud enough, then they would have followed each other, even if their words were made up of nothing but nonsense in repetition.

That was the Grail; the embodiment of that unpleasant truth of human nature.

There was no brush he could choose, no canvas, no color that would have been loud enough to reach them.

How hopeless that feeling was. The path he invested everything in wasn't enough. More than any words, his paintings were the only way he could truly express the feelings he had to tell. But, if people weren't willing to listen – if they turned away and weren't even willing to look...

What use was he?

The only way Madarame had been able to reach them was by stealing the ideas of his students. For the longest time, Yusuke wondered what had caused him to turn his back on his own art. Maybe it wasn't simply greed. Perhaps he also heard the voice of the masses and realized the futility of his single voice. Stealing hadn't helped him deliver a message, though. It hadn't helped him touch any hearts. He had taken and repeated their ideas, repackaged them, sold them off cheaply in a way that appealed to the most people.

Regardless of his intentions, he also became a part of the conglomeration.

He was there behind those bars.

And...

 

“Me too, I suppose.”

 

A voice lost in the noise was just part of the noise.

After all the effort Akira had gone through, too... If it all ended there, it was a shame. The thought put a bitter taste in Yusuke's mouth. He felt like he needed to apologize to him for wasting his time. Akira had helped him through his slump. He made him believe that the only things he needed were the things that were already inside his heart.

In the end, he failed to inherit the beauty of the _Sayuri_. Its strength eluded him.

He may have overestimated it. That thought bothered him more deeply than anything else. Its gentle beauty spoke to him. It was everything; his inspiration, his comfort, his hope. But it was just a memory; a container for his own sentimental feelings. As he discovered, it said something different to everyone who laid eyes upon it. What he tried to capture was something that had no form to grasp.

Even the _Sayuri_ wasn't strong enough.

He needed more.

Something else.

 

“Akira...”

 

The _Sayuri_ alone hadn't even been enough to help him step out from his slump. He needed Akira for that. He needed him and his sharp, clear eyes.

He'd helped him create a painting worthy of first place, and yet... When Yusuke looked back, he found it hard to recall how his hands had known which colors to select. The necessary feelings were within him like Akira had told him, but when had they gotten there...? The desire and hope in his painting were complex things. He saw the light of hope when the Phantom Thieves rescued from the dark, but the light in his painting was more than that.

It was the light of possibility. It represented infinite inspiration – hope itself.

He didn't want to betray the feelings that Akira had worked so hard to make him realize.

It was sort of curious. Like the _Sayuri_ , he found a sense of comfort in thinking about his own painting. It was his friends, but it was also the journey that created it. It was a part of him, a culmination of experiences. Akira indulged his eccentric attempts to inspire himself, always humoring him, so gentle when he could have lost his patience.

Akira really went out of his way. He always did more than he needed to.

In hindsight, the moments they simply spent together were more valuable than whatever 'inspiration' he thought he was gleaning from them. Just those moments. There was value in their silence, in the moments spent going from one place to another, in the careful distance between them...

 

There was something he was afraid of touching, but it was right there, floating on the surface.

 

He wanted to paint loudly. He wanted to create something that could be heard even by the ones who closed their ears and eyes.

And yet.

There was something he noticed in Akira's smile that he wanted to keep for himself. Its warmth seemed to whisper something that was meant only for him to hear.

Noticing it, it felt as though the breath had been stolen from his lungs.

It must have always been there, though what a time for him to notice. He thought he was done deceiving himself, yet he'd managed to ignore something as obvious as that. The light always shined its strongest when he was near Akira.

He'd known.

Somewhere in his heart, he knew how Akira felt about him. He felt the same, but, for the sake of protecting himself, he looked away, choosing what was easiest. That probably made things more difficult for Akira. Yusuke knew that he could trust him, but he instinctively let the distance between them remain.

It was embarrassing.

He wanted to go out with him again.

He just hoped that Akira could overlook the way he'd overlooked him.

 

There were footsteps.

 

But he couldn't bring himself to look up yet.

 

Someone stopped outside his cell. Yusuke could tell who was there without looking. Akira's presence was familiar to him. He was intimately acquainted with it.

“I'm here to get you out,” Akira said.

That was just like him. That was the Akira he knew.

“I think I deserve to stay here a little longer,” Yusuke said. He sadly lifted one of his gloveless hands and looked at his empty palm. “I was just thinking about how pitiful the masses are for their lack of resolve, and yet here I am... I can't call myself a thief like this. I thought I was finally standing on my own two feet, but I'm still just as easily deceived as they are. This whole time, we were following a script without even realizing.”

“Are you scared?” Akira asked.

“Scared?” Yusuke shook his head, still lacking the confidence to meet his eyes. “No. I'm frustrated. People will always do what's easiest. That goes without saying. But, once in a while, shouldn't they question their decisions? Are they really so willing to let themselves be manipulated because it's what's easiest? I wish I didn't understand what that's like...”

“I'm watching you,” Akira said, his voice firm yet gentle. “I'll make sure that you stay true to yourself.”

Yusuke took a breath. It didn't feel that easy, even with someone else's help. “I don't know if that's enough. Even if we try to act with the best intentions, there are always things we'll be unaware of. There's always a possibility that we'll be wrong.”

 

They'd changed hearts without realizing what they were really doing.

 

His hand had painted the light in _Desire and Hope_ without fully realizing where that hope had come from...

 

“If you're aware of that, then your only choice is to do what you believe is right.”

“Even if it hurts people?” Yusuke asked quietly. “Even if... you accidentally ignore someone's feelings?”

 

Akira was quiet.

 

He must have realized, too.

 

“They'll understand,” he said. “You already know that, don't you? If you keep your heart open, even if that makes you vulnerable, you'll be heard. It can't be said for everyone, but there are certainly some who will listen.”

They were doing as much as they could. It was impossible for them to reach every person in the world, but... That was okay. It looked hopeless, but Yusuke knew that what Akira said was true. He was proof of that. He'd blinded himself, but they pulled the wool from his eyes and made him admit how he'd been fooling himself.

Yusuke curled his hands into fists.

Transformed by his restored confidence, his disguise returned to him.

He turned to Akira and the cell door faded away. Just like that time, Akira offered him a hand and Yusuke took it.

However, there was something different in the way it felt as his fingertips slid across Akira's palm, as his fingers curled around the back of his hand. It made him tighten his hold. It made him pull him in close. He didn't want to be wrong.

As he stood with his arms around Akira's shoulders, staring boldly into the shadows of the corridor behind him, Yusuke felt like his heart was more exposed than it had ever been.

Even if he was just making another mistake, it _felt_ like the right thing.

“Have I... misunderstood?” he asked softly. “Was this what you wanted all those times we spent together?”

Akira returned his embrace.

“I should've said something.”

After giving him a light squeeze, Yusuke pulled away and looked into his eyes. “It's alright. Even if you'd told me how you felt, I might not have understood. I needed to take the time to learn more about myself. In our present situation, however... I don't think we're going to have that kind of time. Things are looking dire. We need to do something quickly.”

Gently, Akira placed a hand over Yusuke's chest and smiled. “Then we'll move forward with our hearts open.”

It was amazing how easily Akira could say something like that. Yusuke knew it wasn't as easy as he made it sound.

Akira was strong.

“You're right,” Yusuke said. “We'll free them. Everyone. We'll do it by being ourselves.”

 

They'd hold out a hand for everyone to grasp.

 

Even if it took time, they would use their courage to paint over the lies. Eventually, they'd be forgotten, and everyone would have clear eyes. In that future, everyone could move forward without the help of the Phantom Thieves.

 

“Let's get going.”

Yusuke hesitated. “What about the others? Are they here, too? What is this place?”

“They're waiting. This is a place I'm familiar with. I've been here many times.”

Although Akira's answer gave him more questions, Yusuke felt like he understood. Even if he'd never stood in that exact spot, when he was trapped behind the bars, he felt like he'd been there before. It made him feel disappointed in himself, realizing how much there was about Akira that he didn't know. He'd even overlooked that fact. It was too easy to simply see him as their leader, to forget that he had his own vulnerabilities.

A somewhat wistful look clouded Akira's eyes as he looked aside. His smile was dim.

“I want to get out of here,” he said. “I want to spend more time with you.”

Yusuke knew where that look came from. He heard his desperation.

He hated that there was someone who would try to use Akira's kindness against him. Akira didn't deserve to be treated so unfairly.

Reaching out, Yusuke took his hand once more.

“Let's-...” He cleared his throat, shoving nervousness aside. “Let's go on another date. A real one this time.”

“They weren't real before?” Akira asked, his smile returning.

Yusuke realized that he was smiling, too.

“I want to appreciate it for what it really is this time,” he said.


End file.
